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20 Apr 2023
Our amazing and joyous totally off plan birth!
At 41 weeks exactly (19th April 2023) I decided to have a sweep. All along throughout my pregnancy (which really was a dream, the only symptom being heartburn) I'd said I wouldn't want any form of induction, a sweep being part of the induction ladder. I'd said all along as one of my affirmations stated "my body will know how and when to birth my baby". But I was impatient and so so ready to meet my boy!
The sweep happened at lunchtime and nothing seemed to occur until I was cosied up in bed that evening when I started having period cramp style pains. I now realise that being in the comfort, warm and darkness of our bed must have got all that amazing oxytocin flowing! After just a few of these cramps I decided to lie on my other side to see if that would help. As I went to turn over, I felt this almost bubble pop in between my legs and sure enough my waters had gone! I rushed to the bathroom and put on a sanitary pad. As soon as I had, I spotted that my waters didn't look clear and instead had meconium in. I rang triage to let them know and due to the meconium being present, I had to be admitted right away. That was stage 1 of my plan out the window immediately of early labouring at home!
When my partner Olie and I arrived at triage, I got hooked up to the monitors to check on contractions and babies heart rate. After being examined and told I was 2cm dilated, we sat there for 5 minutes maximum before the midwife rushed in and told me I had to be wheeled to delivery suite immediately as babies heart rate was dipping very substantially. This was such a worrying time but I'm so glad Olie was there keeping me calm and reassuring me we were in the right place.
I got hooked back up to the monitors once in delivery and babies heart rate stabilised so all was good. We then set the room up with all our Hypnobirthing equipment we'd bought with us - Dimmed the main lights, put on our LED candles, room spray, got out my TENS machine, put our feel good playlist on, got comfy with our own pillows from home etc, it really felt so amazing. The delivery room that we were in also had an image of beach waves which the bed faced, which I also think really helped as Olie and I agreed during Anna's course that we'd call contractions waves, and also our visualisation was our favourite place, Crantock Beach in Newquay!
Once we were all settled at about 2am on 20th April 2023, the midwife informed me that due to the meconium being in the waters and his heart rate dropping earlier on, they want labour to progress as quickly as possible as baby seems stressed. Therefore, I was quickly put on the pitocin drip. This was stage 2 of our plan out the window as mentioned above I didn't want to be induced/labour to be artificially progressed. But again, for the safety of baby boy and to meet him soon, Olie and I agreed I should start the drip.
The drip and also the environment of the room really ramped things up and by 6am I was already 5cm, needing no pain relief whatsoever apart from breathing and occasionally the TENS machine - I felt so empowered and ready to give birth! Annoyingly again due the meconium and babies heart rate dipping, I was advised I'd have to be constantly attached to the monitors. This meant I was basically stuck on my back or on the bed. Again another part of my birth plan is I wanted to be active and move around and dance/sway through. But again, we controlled what we could and let go of what we couldn't.
We had another very worrying episode around the same time (approx 6am) where babies heart rate dropped substantially again down to 40bpm, with the emergency cord being pulled by my midwife and about 10 staff flooding into the room, VERY quickly and with little to no explanation preparing me to be rushed for an emergency C section.
They couldn't inform us what was happening as they needed to move VERY fast, and Olie went into shock and looked very pale stood in the corner of the room. They couldn't find a heartbeat for baby at all for about 1 minute. We swapped roles at this point and I was smiling reassuring Olie everything would be fine. Thankfully as I was being speedily undressed and redressed into the gown and compression socks and the last of my waters were being released by the staff as the full sac hadn't gone, babies heartbeat was re-found and stabilised. The whole room let out a huge sigh. I was therefore allowed to stay in the room and not go to surgery.
The releasing of those last waters REALLY moved things along. I got to 9cm dilated very quickly using only my Hypnobirthing techniques and gas and air, I was so proud of myself and Olie really was being the best birth partner.
However this is where things slowed down and ground to a halt. My body got to 9cm and just couldn't dilate any further. I was informed I had a cervical lip which was stopping baby progressing any further down and triggering that push reflex. I carried on contracting for 4+ hours like this with nothing happening at all. The midwife kept asking me if I had the urge to push but I just didn't. As I'd been on the drip and also as they advised I may need to be rushed into theatre at any time, I also wasn't allowed to eat anything - that huge bag of birth snacks and fizzy drinks we packed didn't get a looking! After 27 hours of not eating, and a day full of contractions that were now getting me nowhere, my body was spent. I was a zombie. Crying through every contraction due to the raging uncomfortable sensation in my pelvis and back. I had nothing left in me. Olie at this point did AMAZINGLY and without my knowledge took the midwife and consultant out of the room and advocated on my behalf we need to do something surgically to progress this birth as nothing was happening. They agreed and got the team lined up to do a forceps delivery and episiotomy in theatre with a spinal anaesthesia as it was too late for an epidural.
Once finally in theatre and I had the spinal, the rush of relief I had from not feeling those sensations anymore made me a brand new woman. Olie said I smiled for the first time in over 6 hours. He felt relieved and finally able to relax and see his son any minute now. He burst into floods of tears as soon as put his theatre scrubs on as he knew he was meeting his boy soon! It was so nice to finally be able to enjoy it too!
After a super speedy and pain free forceps delivery, baby Seb was born at 20:31 on 20th April 2023 with both Olie and I crying uncontrollably when we got our first look and heard those first cries. Dad got to do skin to skin, cut the cord and weigh baby while I was being stitched up - a whopping 8lb11! We then learnt that due to his size (which the growth scans hadn't picked up all the way along!) that his head and shoulders were just too large for MY BODY to pass through the birth canal, hence MY BODY just halted birth there and then, how amazing!
Every single intention I had and my entire birth plan went out the window, but Anna and her course taught me to control what I can and to let go of what I can't. One of my affirmations I drafted also had me "welcoming the unknown of birth and what it holds". At this point in time, I honestly don't care that all the aspects I wanted in a 'perfect birth' didn't happen - having the most beautiful son in my arms as I write this makes none of that matter whatsoever.
Thank you Anna and your course for all of your wisdom, support, knowledge and guidance which made our birth experience the best day of our lives, despite it being also one of the most challenging!
You lovely readers will note I've wrote MY BODY there. Every birth and every body is different; Anna massively helped to prepare us for that in the course. Just because MY BODY could not naturally birth an 8lb11 baby without forceps intervention, it doesn't mean yours won't! Women all across the globe have babies absolutely fine much MUCH bigger than that. I read an affirmation during pregnancy that I actually used in this moment - women all around the globe at this time are doing the same thing as me. It was such an empowering thought in that time for me - even though I needed intervention to get what MY BODY classed as a big baby out, countless women across the globe at exactly that same minute could have been birthing much bigger babies naturally, in a birthing pool, via C Section etc. However your birth journey pans out for YOUR BODY and will not necessarily be because of the size of your baby, it just so happened that mine did.
Tanya and Olie - Worcester