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11 Aug 2020
A birth partners experience by Jack (Bodhi's daddy).
Going into the whole pregnancy thing, I didn’t really know what to expect or what my role would be. I didn’t know what it is I should be doing! But then Charley booked the taster session with Anna and after that one session, I felt like Charley was more relaxed and at ease as she had been quite worried before.
During the taster we learnt useful breathing techniques and Anna also explained what happened during contractions which was actually really interesting! We booked to do the sessions but due to Covid they went online. I was worried at this point as I really wanted Charley to have face to face so she could make friends but even with the classes being online she has come out of it with close friends.
During the online classes, I learnt lots of useful techniques to try and help keep Charley calm in labour and also keep the environment calm and positive as I learnt this would help with the progression of labour through Oxytocin. It also gave me an idea of what I could do during labour, rather than just standing around. For example, talking to the midwives about our birth plan, making sure that Charley isn’t the one having to make difficult decisions so she could just stay in the zone. Even things like asking to take the clock down in the delivery room! I also gained knowledge in everything birth related so I could support Charley from the minute labour began.
The course also made me aware of what happened after the baby is born. I had no idea about placentas or the fact Charley would need to push any more once the baby was out! I also found it really interesting learning about our options, and that we didn’t need to just do as the midwife said, we could make our own choices too which we later found we needed to do!
When the day came, Charley’s waters released at 6.30am. Due to going on the course, I didn’t panic and knew exactly what to expect, we knew not to rush to hospital and we had time to go for a walk and prepare ourselves. I also knew when it was the right time to take over and tell the midwives (who didn’t believe Charley was ready to be admitted) that we were coming in. During the car journey to the hospital, I found Charley was really calm and relaxed despite the fact she was having intense back to back contractions. When she did lose control, I was able to support her, and remind her of the affirmations. I also knew about counter pressure which came in handy when we arrived.
When the midwife told us Charley was only 2cm, I saw the disappointment in her face as she was very uncomfortable. The midwife was trying to get us to leave and go home, but we both knew this was not the right thing to do so I knew that I could refuse and eventually, (although not happily) the midwife found a bed, (and a good job because 2 hours later Charley was pushing!).
On the ward, Charley requested pethidine. I reminded her that this was not her first choice on the birth plan and we discussed the options as I knew she really wanted a water birth. I had a private chat with the midwife and asked if she was still able to have a water birth even with pethidine and they explained that by the time she was ready to go in the water, the pethidine would have worn off. We agreed pethidine would help her relax. She had the pethidine and for the next two hours, I applied counter pressure and I set up her TENS machine and the birth affirmations MP3 on the ward for her to listen to. She was very relaxed although still uncomfortable but managed to get some rest.
After two hours, she looked up at me and said “Jack, I’m pushing.” I went to find a midwife and told them she was pushing and they looked confused, but came to check and she was 8cm dilated and ready to go to delivery.
During the labour I used what I learnt in Anna’s sessions to help support Charley and remind her of how amazing she is and how great she was doing. Although at one point, she did tell me to shut up!
When Bodhi arrived I felt, overwhelmed with happiness, I was so proud of Charley and it was lovely seeing our complete family finally together.
There was a bit of a complication after Bodhi arrived and Charley needed to be rushed out of the pool onto a bed to be checked over but during this time I knew to give skin to skin to Bodhi as Charley couldn’t for a little while. As soon as she could though, I made sure she got lots of skin to skin and she breastfed Bodhi for the first time.
We also attended Anna’s Breastfeeding course, I am so glad we did because Charley found breastfeeding a real challenge at the beginning, she was in a lot of discomfort but I knew again, how to support her and now she has been exclusively breastfeeding Bodhi for 5 months without ever needing to supplement.
Not only has Anna been helpful for the birth but also, she has been such amazing support for Charley and I am so glad she has had that. Because of lockdown, Anna has played a vital role in supporting Charley and I and I don’t know what we would have done without her.
Overall, I was sceptical at first when Charley booked the hypnobirthing course, but since the taster session I have never looked back.
Thank you Anna!