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26 Mar 2023
Our birth was a beautiful bonding experience!
Cyrus Owen Dean born in the delivery suite Worcestershire Royal Hospital at 37 plus 4 on the 26th March 2023.
My husband and I attended the hypnobirthing course in 2023 and this transformed our mindset in respect of birth.
I am an extremely impatient person, and had learnt on the course that each baby will come in their own time. We also learnt some natural ways that are sometimes thought to help bring on labour, one of which was going walking. On the 25th March I decided to go on walk around the river in Worcester which has been a route I’ve enjoyed walking during pregnancy. I went on the walk and returned and went to have a shower because we were going out for dinner for my father-in-law’s 60th.
Whilst getting ready, all of a sudden there was a gush of water: my husband and I stared at each other open mouthed. The water had gone everywhere and although we had learnt that often waters don’t always go in this dramatic way, this was certainly the case for me. Immediately we started laughing and a wave of excitement came over us. We were initially in shock as well because I still had a week of work left and had a remaining work document I had to submit by the following Monday. I had also planned on spending the next week refreshing my memory of the hypnobirthing tools. Therefore, we felt much more unprepared then we had planned.
Despite this, we both remained calm and remembered Anna’s advice about creating an environment to promote oxytocin.
My husband immediately lit the candles in our lounge and turned on the lavender diffuser. I hadn’t eaten properly, so we ordered a Nando’s.
The contractions then came on very quickly which was a relief. I lost my mucus plug almost straight away.
The contractions were coming every four minutes and were extremely intense where I had to completely focus on them. I had anticipated that they would start less intensely, but quickly realised I had to just go with them. My husband Max was timing them and had downloaded an app to do so. I utilised the breathing techniques of the in for four and out for more which was extremely effective. It really was like a wave and visualising this definitely helped cope with the feeling. I was holding onto max each time.
I had been working the week before and had been due to work the following week so I had to finish an attendance note for work. This was a silly idea and would not recommend this as it definitely is not conducive to creating oxytocin …. but Max definitely took on board what he had learnt on the course and was gently suggesting I send it in its current state without telling me what to do because he knew that this would not be helpful and I needed to feel I was in control. Therefore, he continued to rub my back and help me breathe and repeat my affirmations when the contractions came on.
I was drinking lots of water and the Nando’s arrived. However I was feeling extremely sick because the contractions were ramping up and within an hour of them starting the app was telling us to go to the hospital. I tried to eat my Nando’s and was immediately sick, which would have made me feel stressed but I remembered to just go with it.
There were times when I felt I was losing it and struggling because the contractions were far stronger than I had anticipated and I had imagined spending much longer at home than the app was saying.
I found the best place for me was the toilet because I was struggling to find a position that worked best, but found that this worked best and Max was able to massage me.
I was refusing to go to the hospital initially because I felt that home was the best place for me and I felt safe there. Therefore I continued to progress until the contractions were coming so thick and fast that I was struggling to manage them with just breathing and felt I needed to go to hospital to get into the water ASAP.
We drove to the hospital and the journey was positive. We breathed through the contractions and played the playlist I had made.
We arrived and I was having to be on all fours outside the hospital and in the corridor and was taken to triage. I had compiled a very detailed birth plan after considering all my options after all the reading and information given on the birth course. I knew I wanted minimal intervention and had said that I did not want to be examined. However, as I knew I had progressed a lot I consented to an examination and I was already 4cm. I was told that Meadow birth centre was closed. Initially I was upset about this because I had wanted to give birth in the meadow, but I again utilised one of the affirmations I had learnt which was I control what I can and let go of what I can’t. I was told the pool room on the delivery room was available, so was able to go there immediately.
At this point I hadn’t had any pain relief so I accepted some paracetamol which did help.
I wanted a water birth, so I eventually got in the pool which was such nice relief for a while. The water enormously helped. The room was lit with nice candles and smells.
However I was feeling so sick which was making everything difficult. Max was an absolute trooper with the fan, saying my affirmations to me and helping me by breathing. After an hour and a half it got so much I had to get out and was sick again. I got onto the bed and hung over the top for a while. My midwives Ellie and student midwife Sarah were so good and let me get on with it. They didn’t keep offering things and let me do it.
I found the bathroom a really calming place- I think this is because it was private and I felt like I wanted to be unseen. After hours of labouring, I felt I needed to push and the reflex started. It was a very powerful reflex.
I was pushing for a while and used the down breathing. Max was incredible and continued to support me by saying the affirmations and using the fan to keep me cool and a flannel for my head.
I had thought I would use gas and air as pain relief but this made me feel sick so I used just breathing techniques to get through the contractions.
I pushed for a while and it came to the point where our baby’s head was crowning. This was really tough, and it was exhausting because it felt like there was no progress being made, but I tried to focus on remaining calm and using my breathing. After a period of time, I consented to an episiotomy because there wasn’t room for his head. This had previously been something I was terrified of, but in the moment I felt so excited to meet our son. This was exactly what needed to happen and then at 6.20am in the morning our son was born after just two further contractions. The wave of ethereal joy swept over both of us as he was placed on my chest. I kissed all over him and the love and intensity of joy was inexplicable. We had delayed cord clamping and had time to ourselves after the birth where we just stared at him and soaked in the joy.
The midwives were so encouraging and supportive and had listened to me completely throughout the process.
I cannot thank Anna enough and although a lot of it had been unpredictable, I had prepared for a lot of it through writing a detailed plan, and changing my mindset to accept this. I utilised all the techniques and overall feel the birth of my son was a beautiful bonding experience between me and my husband. I am so happy I was able to have a birth without pharmacological pain relief, and was able to be present throughout it.
Naomi and Max - Worcester