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18 Dec 2020
We totally ROCKED our birth!
I have always been fascinated in birth, obsessed with listening to people’s stories. I am lucky that a lot of my friends have all been positive about their experiences and my mum is an advocate for it after giving birth to 4 of us naturally and loving every minute! I knew I wanted to do a hypnobirthing course but we were in the middle of the first lockdown so thought I would just have to read a book – then my sister put me in touch with Anna, we chatted on the phone and I knew she was the one to guide my partner and I through.
I signed up at 20 weeks – earlier than usual and I am glad I did. I really wanted to make it a part of the pregnancy and get into it as early as possible. I was able to feel prepared and informed and when the fear hit, I was able to process it and deal with it way before labour – it also helped my partner to feel confident and involved.
I was working when I started to get a bit of back ache, I’d had my show a few days before and knew it wouldn’t be longer than a week before my baby was here. It was Wednesday 16th December and my lovely friends had arranged a zoom baby shower, it was so lovely to see them all and my oxytocin was flowing, I remember feeling a bit uncomfortable on the bench but nothing more.
After the call I had a shower with the lights low and then got Mark to massage my feet and pulse points with clary sage. I was only 39 weeks and didn’t think for one minute things would start, in my head I was going to be a post 40 weeker and was feeling very much OK with that.
We went to bed and at midnight I woke to a sensation in my back that came, peaked and went. I then woke every hour with the same sensations and by 4am Mark and I were awake timing them, they started to come very regularly. I wasn’t sure they were surges as it wasn’t at all like I had envisioned them to be, I breathed through each one and as soon as it was over carried on. I couldn’t sleep as they were all in my back and we were excited.
By 8am they were coming every 3mins so we called the birth centre. The midwife said they needed to be more consistent so to have a shower and rest when I could. I couldn’t rest but we went about our day, we watched Schitt’s Creek which was great for oxytocin flow and chilled, looked through our photos and every time a surge came mark would rub my back which was amazing! I had a shower at midday and then everything slowed almost to a stop. I was so frustrated I cried but Mark reassured me all was fine and we had a long hug and decided to get some food on the go.
It started to get dark again and my surges were back to being every 5-7 minutes. I was getting tired now but luckily the tens pads I ordered had arrived through the post so we got these on which gave me a distraction. I didn’t think I would be up for a tens but it proved to be the best tool in the early labour stages. By 8pm I was so tired and I needed to know what was going on so I called the birth centre again. The midwife could hear my frustrations so invited me in for an assessment. We drove in, the journey wasn’t fun but I was happy to be going. When we go there I had to go in alone, the midwife examined me and told me I was 1cm! She had probably never had anyone be so happy to hear that as she was surprised at my joy. I was just happy it wasn’t false labour and that I hadn’t been imagining it! She said baby was stargazing, so he wasn’t back to back but his head was looking in the wrong direction so the hard part of it was on my back hence why it probably felt more intense than ‘normal’. I was surprised how I was handling it given stories I had heard about this. We discussed options and I chose to take some strong pain killers and go home. The pain relief didn’t really do much but I got focussed again and when we got home the surges came back to every 3 mins by 4am. I just want to say that it was all so manageable.
My affirmations went out the window (but mark recited them when I had low moments) and they just became ‘it’s OK, it’s OK, It will be over soon’.
Anyway really long story slightly shorter, we went on like this until lunch time that day. I had had enough, I called the birth centre again and they said to come in no rush and we will make a plan.
I was really tired now and ready to go in and get an epidural, Mark and I talked about it and I said I didn’t care anymore I just needed to rest. On arrival we met a lovely lovely midwife who took us through to our room, it was beautiful, low lights, bean bag, mattress on the floor and the pool. She said we could do whatever I wanted but let’s exam and talk.
She did the examination and I was 4cms! Amazing, Mark could stay and we didn’t need to leave again. I was asking about pain relief and she said we had loads we could try before we got to epidural and why don’t I see if we could do what I was doing for another 2 hours and then review. She gave me so much confidence to carry on that I got some gas and air and decided to just use that.
The hours passed quickly as I was in the zone completely. I asked had it been 2 hours yet and she said nearly, I said please could I go in the pool and she said ok yes, so an hour or so later I was in the pool and it was such a relief! After about an hour I went into what I now know is transition! My body took over and I started to make some deep primal sounds and the bearing down was strong. I couldn’t believe I was at this stage; I had got here using breathing techniques and some distraction methods only!
Mark was amazing, he fed me sweets and repeated mantras, he stayed by my side the whole way through and knew exactly what to do and when, no mean feat when this had started for 46 hours ago. This was down to how much he had learnt on the hypnobirthing course and our follow up chat with Anna a couple of weeks before the birth, hypnobirthing was invaluable to me because it allowed me to know all I needed to, I knew it would be great for Mark too but I didn’t bank on it bringing us together as a team so much. In between each surge I floated around the pool laughing and chatting, drinking water and staying hydrated, I had my birthing playlist on which was lovely and kept me calm. Then the pushing started, again in between each surge we relaxed, chatted to the midwife and strategized how I would push in the next surge. I was pushing for a while but I realise now it was the only bit where I let fear in – but after a while I let it go and at 10.03 our baby boy Dexter, was born, all in one surge!
After 46 hours he wasn’t hanging around! It was the most powerful moment and I couldn’t believe I had done it. We had delayed cord clamping for about 20mins as it kept going, then out the pool to deliver the placenta and get checked. I had a couple of minor cuts and grazes and hadn’t torn at all! Again all amazing given the speed at which he came out and how he had to turn his head at the last minute. My waters never broke, instead they came a bit before the baby and we broke it at the last minute.
I was and still am in shock at the way it went – we were such a team the 3 of us, we all totally rocked that birth! I felt so proud of us all and so grateful for Anna’s guidance. It was all down to the knowledge and information and letting go ! I have since used the BRAIN tool with aftercare and a few things that Dexter has needed which has continued to empower me into motherhood too.
Thanks so much Anna- I can totally see why you wanted to do this and empower women to live their best births
Lots of love Netty, Mark and Dexter xxx
Netty and Mark - London